And just like that, another year has come and gone and I’m a year older. In typical fashion I have mostly ignored my birthday today, and in fact I don’t have much to say about it other than I’m grateful to be here, I’m trying not to become too cynical (getting harder and harder in these insane times we live in), I’m accepting that a new phase of life is probably going to begin for me soon, and I’m still, as always, learning to love myself and enjoy the journey I’m on.
After years of thinking about it, I finally hired someone to take portraits of me. Not of me and Dan, not of the kids and I, not for work, but just of ME. I’ve been preaching self-love and body acceptance with my boudoir clients for awhile now, so I knew that the next step would be to get in front of the lens myself and to experience what they do through when being photographed by me. It took awhile for me to find someone local who’s work I loved, but I finally settled on Maggie Hood in Fredericton. I’ve known of her and her amazing work for years now but it was only after I started following her alternate IG account, an_awakening that I fell in love with her moody, real portrait and boudoir style (somewhat similar to my own but unique in of itself).
I wanted photos that weren’t just ‘glamour’ and weren’t picture-perfect; in fact I *wanted* the opposite, I wanted a few images to show that I’ve lived my imperfect 36 years of life-that my softer middle, wide hips, wrinkles and stretch marks are all there, and that there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Maggie was so easy to work with me and made me feel so comfortable, I had no reservations about anything during the session, and I felt good in my own skin. I’m very happy I did it, if only for myself (still trying to decide how much I want to share publicly, hence the more abstract images here).
There’s no ‘right’ age to feel confident, or ‘right’ body to be proud of, or ‘perfect’ time to celebrate yourself, the answer to when all those things should happen is TODAY, and I’m happy that now, at 36, it’s just getting easier and easier…it’s the best present I could ever give myself.